A Man of Few Words
Contributor: “Dr. J”Dr. J offers his irreverent, slightly irrelevant, but possibly useful opinions on health and fitness. A Florida surgeon and fitness freak with a black belt in karate, he runs 50 miles a week and flies a Cherokee Arrow 200.
Early on in my career as an educator, I learned the importance of effective communication. It didn’t matter what wonderful knowledge I may have had to impart, if the patients or the students, or my colleagues couldn’t relate to my presentation of the material, it would be like the lonely tree falling in the forest.
I recently read about a new book, co-authored by André-A. Lafrance, a communications professor at the Université de Montréal, and François Lambotte of the Université libre de Bruxelles, on the principles of effective communication. It seems that too much communication is as bad as too little. The authors feel that people communicate poorly and excessively when they exchange just for the sake of communicating.
“There is a lot of information but very little communication,” says Lafrance. “Communication requires interaction between the communicator and the receiver, and the message must be tailored to the reaction of the other.”
The book has three premises for effective communication:
- All communication aims to bring about change in the receiver, whether a change in knowledge, attitudes or practices.
- All change comprises a challenge to the receiver due to their lack of expertise, the amount of effort required to understand or their questioning of the information.
- The communicator must have the ability to convince the receiver to make the needed change.
It’s like baby bears porridge. Not too much, not too little, just the right amount to get the message across. I had a personal experience with porridge one day when I went back to my old karate studio and had a conversation with my Sensei.
Visiting Sensei
As I walked into the karate studio that day I felt I had come a long way from that first time as a white belt, arriving early to an empty room, sweeping the floor unasked, as I waited for the other students to arrive. I no longer lived in that city as my schooling had taken me to another state, but I was seeing my parents over the summer break and I wanted to visit my old karate school. Not much had changed; it still had that clean crisp feeling of a newly sharpened knife: simple, practical and alert. As I dressed in the changing room, I proudly tied that same black belt that this teacher had given me, though now, as it was not my way to add additional stripes, I had attained higher levels of that coveted black belt.
As the class began, I was no longer at the back of the room, but initially leading the students in the basic warm up exercises before bowing to the Sensei and taking my place at the head of the class. It was a good day to return to my karate roots.
At the end of the formal class, I asked my Sensei if he wanted to spar with me. I had come a long way since he first tied that black belt around my waist, and I felt very confident in the abilities I had learned and proven in other karate schools and tournaments, and I had the trophies to show for my skills.
Sparring With Sensei
The Sensei accepted my challenge.
We went to the center of the empty floor as the other students sat against the walls and waited to see what would happen. We bowed and assumed our fighting stances. I was ready.
I attacked!
I remember seeing him blur off to my left, then the room turned upside down! After a few strikes, it was over. I had watched him fight other students before, and although he was usually a very mild man, I had seen him do his share of damage to others. As I got back to my feet to acknowledge my defeat, I remember thinking how I was physically unhurt, even after the apparent violence of his attacks. It was the best defeat I ever had! To this day I can’t really explain it, but I felt great.
After we bowed to signify the end of the conflict he said, “It is not appropriate for a lower rank to challenge a higher rank to fight,” and that was that.
He definitely applied those three premises, as he changed my attitude, he effectively answered my challenge, and he convinced me to learn a needed lesson on that day from this man of few words.
Related posts from the CalorieLab Calorie Counter News archives:
- Lenny Bruce and the Hurtful Power of Words
- Turning Words Into Action: How to Fight Negative Thoughts With Positive Actions
- Dietary Misinformation: Idiotic Packaging Claims, and Making Calorie Posting Look Foolish
- How “Healthwashing” and Gullibility Undermine Dieters’ Best Intentions
- St. Luke’s Health System Unveils Empowering Billboard Teaser Campaign
Jee, what a revelation. I learned that in class being forced to listen to the senseless yapping of my neighbours all day. I think you’ll find communications theory (it’s hardly a science, not even by the most liberal of standards) is a field where’s there’s more senseless communication and goofy theories nobody asked for than in any other academic subject (why it’s even deemed worthy to be called an academic subject still baffles me to this day), with the possible exceptions of pedagogics or religious studies/theology. Communications theory: much ado about nothing. Surely a man of your stature must have better things to do with his time than read this pseudo-intellectual garbage. A friend of mine once aptly called this ‘hot air science’. No truer words spoken.
Anyway, on to the subject: the main reason not to challenge your sensei is out of respect to him as a person and the knowledge he so kindly imparted upon you. Even if I knew I could defeat my teacher I would never do so because a) why fight when you know you can win and b) he’s the one who got you this far, if he had refused to teach you or had done a bad job you would never have ascended to this level in the first place. Lastly such an act would show you’re still emotionally immature and one of the main goals of training (at least in my view) is still the lessening of ego and humbleness of spirit. Sparring is a means of augmenting your fighting abilities, not to claim victory over another or pump up your foolish pride.
POD!
LOL, thanks for your comment!
Hey John!
I bowed out to Jim in the finals of one tournament! We fought later that week back in the “friendly” confines of the dojo. That’s a story for another days
column :-)
Vered!
You communicate very well from what I read on your blog!
Sahar!
Papa bear educated me :-)
Glad your experience with the “porridge” was just right. :)
“There is a lot of information but very little communication” – this often describes social media, which I do for a living. Sad but true.
Hey Dr. J!
This communication sounds more like the techniques I learn while selling life insurance in the 80s. One trick I learned back then was to speak in a way that was easily understood… that changed from person to person. Sometimes I had to swear like a sailor to be understood. :)
One time my instructor was getting interviewed by the local TV channel and I was the one around to spar with him. I thought I did not do too badly as he let me get in a few shots but I did not understand what was going to happen.
That evening when the 30 second sparring video played back on TV – I seemed to get pounded continuously into the corner! That happened but they did not air any of the give an take. I was under the delusion that they might show one of the two times I got in a lucky shot. :)
In karate I learned that is was far better to bow out to your instructor than to ever meet him in the ring… (for those of you who don’t know – bowing out is the student, in this case, forfeiting the match).
I knew many who would bow out to higher belt ranks from the same school… while I did bow out to my instructor – my buddies were going to have to fight me – win, lose or draw!
I liked this post Dr J because it shows how non-verbal communication was every bit as important as verbal communication. And there is no upside to sparring with your sensei. :)
Truer words were never spoken.
Eleanor!
I wonder if less quantity and more quality will ever happen with information. It’s turning us into listening like Bart Simpson..Blah blah..
Roy!
Thanks so much!
Jody!
When I think back in my life, I certainly can remember times when the power of the words I heard had nothing to do with the number. You know the most famous presidential speech was also the shortest!
Diane!
LOL! I was walking loudly and walked into a big stick :-)
I think that it is so interesting about communication. I was thinking about how communication differs between men and women. I read somewhere that men use 1/3 fewer words per day than women do, although sometimes when I listen to talk shows on the radio I wonder if that’s true!
I love the story of your karate experience. It reminds me of the saying, “Walk softly and carry a big stick.”
Great post Dr. J. There are definitely people with a lot of words coming out of their mouths these days yet saying nothing. Just watching TV & some reality shows proves that. It is amazing how so few words can elicit so much thought process. THX!
In this era of blogging, texting, tweeting, and massive and frequent communicating, this is a great story that I definitely needed to read. Whether or not I apply what I extract from it, we shall see. Thank you. Nice column!
Great story. There’s more information than ever out there, but much of it disregards those three principles of communication. Maybe that’s why it seems like a lot of noise…